It's been awhile since I've been here. I finally escaped. I broke free from the feelings and was starting to feel like a person again. He found me. He invaded my space. I had two places left on earth I felt safe and now I only have one. My bedroom. The feeling of defeat is [...]

I’m Back

I haven't been here for a while for many reasons. Although I should be because I'm experiencing the worst part of life ATM. I hope this message finds all of my viewers and followers having a wonderful holiday season! I lost my job in October and November and December have always been the hardest months [...]

Beyond Tired

I'm so tired of all the gaslighting and manipulation. Just now, "You don't want me to watch porn, you don't want me to get off on anything else, I'll just bother you." While giving me MY phone back!! Like what the AF!! I'm not even playing guys, this dude has some serious f'ed up fantasies. [...]

Bipolar and Domestic Abuse

Individuals with untreated bipolar disorder are at an increased risk for violent behavior for the following reasons: Substance abuse often fuels domestic violence. Mania can cause impulse control disorders. Reckless sexual behavior can cause injury to the bipolar person’s partner. Uncertainty Whenever the partner who has bipolar disorder, he or she can lose their sense [...]

“Just Leave”

We aren’t protecting and loving the abuser; we are protecting and loving our family and friends. We are protecting ourselves. I wouldn't expect you to understand. The brain blocks out traumatic events. I just didn’t automatically realize what happened to me despite the fact that it happened multiple times. Leaving an abusive relationship is much [...]

99% of Victims Were Clueless!

There's words for some of the things I've experienced in life,  Unknowledgeable it's a "Thing". Very Important THING. Parental Alienation, PD's, Gaslighting, Love Bombing, Hoovering, Reactive Abuse 😮, Financial Abuse, The Silent Treatment is Abuse! Trauma Bonds, Stockholm Syndrome, Isolation, Identity Insults, Codependency..... These are just a few things that I had never heard of [...]

How do you know when you’re dealing with a Narcissist?

A Narcissist is someone who feels self-entitlement to everyone and everything. No one else's feelings matter and they must always have the full attention. Do you know someone who... Loves to talk about themselvesConstantly interrupts conversationsShows very little interest in your feelingsEnjoys getting away with rules or breaking the lawKeeps their belongings in tip-top shape [...]

Survival Instincts: Fight, Flight or Freeze

When stressful moments occur in one's life, the three responses are fight-flight-freeze. Everyone reacts differently to trauma. The brain sends out signals to the victim to fight back, flee the scene or freeze up with no response. The limbic system is a built-in alarm system in the brain that signals when possible danger occurs. There [...]