Keep their victims in the dark about events that are taking place.
Almost always in control of finances.
Talk bad about the victim to others to cause them to become isolated.
Make plans that include the victim without consulting them.
Goal is to monopolize the victim’s time, physical environment, and suppress their behavior.
Tell you what social events you can attend and who you can go with.
May insist you quit work and remain at home where he can keep an eye on you.
May tell you that you can no longer participate in hobbies.
Forbids any contact with family members, friends, and other contacts that will give you support.
Brainwash their victims
Manipulates his victim to become mentally and physically dependent upon him, which reduces the ability of the victim to resist his abuse.
Use threats to cultivate anxiety, despair and the ability to resist.
Most often they threaten children, family members or friends with harm if the victim doesn’t comply with his demands.
Degrade their victims in order to damage their self esteem and make them think they are unable to face life on their own.
Dysfunctional, insecure and unable to have a relationship unless they are in complete control.
Instill feelings of fear, powerlessness and dependency in their victim
Doesn’t allow her partner to voice opinions
Extremely dominating to the point that they want to control everything that the victim does
Verbally assault their victim by calling names, degrading, screaming, threatening, criticizing, berating and humiliating.
They will center their victim out in front of family and friends by taking small personality flaws and embellishing them to the extreme.
They make snide remarks and use sarcasm to erode the victim’s sense of self-worth and self confidence.
Make the victim look bad in front of others is an attempt to isolate the victim and keep them at their mercy.
Swear that events never occurred and that certain things were never said
Uses emotional blackmail to get what they want by pushing your buttons
Plays on his victim’s sense of compassion, fears, sense of guilt and values in order to get his own way
He may refuse to talk to his victim or threaten to end the relationship or withdraw financial support if the victim is dependent on him for basic living necessities.
An abuser will keep the household and his victim’s emotions in total chaos by starting arguments and constantly being in conflict with other family members.
Expect their partner to reject everything in their life to tend to the abuser’s needs.
Forcing the victim to perform sexual acts that are against their will
Demanding all of the victim’s attention or demanding that the victim spend all free time with the abuser
Constantly criticized and berated because they are unable to fulfill the abuser’s demands.
Emotional outbursts and extreme mood swings
damages the victim’s self esteem, self confidence and mental well-being because they are constantly on edge, wondering how their partner is going to respond to their every move.
Living with a person who has unpredictable response is difficult, stressful, nerve wracking and it causes a great deal of anxiety that can lead to health problems.
The victim lives with fear and security and has no sense of balance in their life.
Abusers have a tendency to feel they are unique individuals and shouldn’t have to live under the same rules as everyone else.
Tend to shift responsibility for their actions to their victims and become angry because the person caused them to behave inappropriately.
The abuser might say, “If you hadn’t talked back to me, I wouldn’t have had to hit you.”
Seldom take responsibility for their actions, but try to justify their behavior by making excuses.
They may blame the abuse on a difficult childhood or a hard day at the office.
Their mind-set tells them that they are never to blame for any negative behavior.
Abusers believe that they would be famous and rich if the victim and other people weren’t holding them back.
he believes his failure in life is due to others, he feels he is justified in retaliating in any way he can, including physical and emotional abuse.
He belittles, berates and puts others down, including the victim, to make himself feel more powerful.
Combine manipulative tactics, such as upsetting people to watch their reaction,
Lying and provoking arguments and fights among family members and his peers.
He charms his victims and other people who he wishes to manipulate by professing that he cares and is interested in their well-being, when all he is doing is opening the door for a deeper level of abuse.
It’s always someone else’s fault when they act inappropriately.
They replace closeness with drama in order to make their life more exciting.
They love watching others argue and fight and often do things to keep those around them in a state of constant chaos and upheaval.
Minimize their actions and refuse to accept their mistakes
Extremely possessive and believe that they should get everything they want
Seldom capable of a relationship that includes real intimacy
Think of themselves as independent, self-sufficient, superior and strong. If someone criticizes them or says something that causes them to feel insulted, the feeling will cause them to react violently toward their victim.
Abusers think and speak vaguely to avoid their responsibilities