Never Ending Cycle

Well, we are on to the discard phase again. Yes, I said AGAIN. This isn’t the first time I’ve been discarded for a few days, only to be hoovered and soon manipulated back in again. My mistake.

He started this one a few days ago when he reunited with an old friend whom has a new girlfriend. That got his attention. Narcs prey on vulnerable humans. He’s known this guy for 30 years. He knows he is easily manipulated into anything! If you look back on everything that happened in the past during their friendship, you will know I am telling the truth.

He has never been happy with one woman and never will be, despite his mother constantly telling him, before she passed a few months ago, that one woman is enough for any man. I assume she understood how I felt. I feel extreme sorrow for his parents and his children. I can escape but they can’t.

The triangulation begins. I walked in a local store this morning, only to find him confiding in a female worker. Before they realized I was in the store, I heard her say “There’s no since in that.” Really? I understand that everyone needs someone to vent to, I do it often, but how can you seriously take one side of the story and be judgmental, when you weren’t there? You didn’t experience what I did. She over stepped her boundaries.

Everyone in town knows he is abusive to me. He doesn’t hide it. He owns it. Some even chose to turn their heads while he was hitting me in the face, pulling my hair and telling them he is going to take me home and kill me. The very least they could have done was sent the law to my house when we left. Yet, they choose to be Flying Monkeys. Oh well. He’ll be alone again. Flying Monkeys won’t take care of him. They only want to hear his story so that they will have something to talk about when they get home. I’m glad to say that I’m not as devastated this time as before. I’m not apologizing for something I didn’t do anymore. I see him for what he is now and I understand, he’ll never find anyone to tolerate what I have and he is very Codependent.

So, my Journey begins. I’ve realized, not only do I deserve better, he doesn’t deserve me. He deserves to be alone because no one should ever put their hands on anyone in anger for any reason. I gave it my all for three years and I am not looking back! There’s no cheat sheet for this game. Game Over!

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