An estimated 1 in 4 women experience physical abuse from an intimate partner. Women are much more likely to be victims of intimate partner violence with 85 percent of domestic abuse victims being women and 15 percent men. Too many women have been held captive by domestic violence — whether through physical abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse or a combination of all three.
The number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of American women who were murdered by current or ex male partners during that time was 11,766. That’s nearly double the amount of casualties lost during war.
YET, WE CONTINUE TO REMAIN SILENT!
What makes “Men” feel so superior over women? Is it because they are naturally built stronger in body? They have a huge Ego? Or because Society has been normalizing “Men Over Women” for centuries?
No one, absolutely NO ONE, has the right to put their hands on you, for any reason, EVER! That’s why we have separation and divorce laws in place. If you don’t like the way your partner is behaving, LEAVE! If your partner cheats on you, LEAVE! If you are not happy for whatever reason, LEAVE! It’s that simple. However, it is nearly impossible for a Battered Woman to LEAVE.
Domestic Abuse is getting way out of hand and it is time we speak up. This problem is not going to fade away quietly. People today are fighting for their rights to abortion, gun rights, religion, gay-rights, etc….Therefore, victims of Physical, Emotional, and Sexual Abuse, should be able to come out of the closet and end the VIOLENCE! We should no longer be ashamed. The abuser should be ashamed!
I have felt the shame of a victim. I have heard the ridicule from society. I have tasted the blood. I have smelled the foul odor of an Abuser. I have been blamed for allowing myself to be abused. I am my worse critique. Nothing anyone could say would make me feel more quilt than my own thoughts. We already know we are at fault for allowing it, that doesn’t mean we were easily able to control it or deserved it!
I’ve been told, “Well you must like it, you stay.” I’ve heard, “If she stays, she deserves it.” We already know we are at fault for allowing it to happen for so long, that doesn’t mean we were easily able to control it or deserved it! The victim is never at fault for the abuse they encountered. There is never a valid reason for abusing anyone, physically, emotionally, or sexually! Abuse is a crime, no matter what SHE did to make you think she deserves it. If you think victims are responsible, you need to educate yourself. You need to learn how Manipulation, Control and Isolation affect any human being. You need to educate yourself about Stockholm Syndrome and Trauma Bonding. They are just as real as you are. You need to realize that “YOU” are the reason Women Don’t Just Leave!
Did you like being abused by your parents or employer? Or… did you “stay” because you had no other means to support yourself financially? Did you “stay” because you relied on your wages to support your family? Did you “stay” because “they are family”? Did you “stay” because “She’s your wife and even though she cheats on you from time to time, she’s not physically abusing you?” “Did you stay because you have children who you didn’t want to grow up in a broken home, even though, you no longer communicate or feel a connection with your partner?” Do you know that Cheating is Abuse? Do you know that the “Silent Treatment” is Abuse? It’s one in the same whether you want to admit it or not. You developed a bond with the people who nurtured and cared for you as a child AND also your domestic partner whom you have a “Healthy Relationship” with, the same way victims bond with abusers. Do you think they don’t tell us everyday how much they love us? Do you think they don’t apologize and ask for forgiveness? Do you think they choose victims who lack empathy?
I got flowers today. It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day. We had our first argument last night. He said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he was sorry and didn’t mean the things he said. Because I got flowers today.
I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. It wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. And it was much worse than all other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I’ m afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night he finally killed me. He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.
This poem is dedicated to all the victims and survivors of Domestic Violence.
You ask, why didn’t she leave?
Author Paulette Kelly
RIP My Angel-Ciera Jackson
ST. LOUIS — Ciera Jackson filed for a restraining order, claiming in court documents that her ex-boyfriend Victor Whittier had sent a series of threatening text messages and then lurked outside her home. Jackson, 24, had previously called police when Whittier broke into her apartment and ransacked it, but she chose not to pursue criminal charges, according to authorities. She had asked her property manager whether she could break her lease, hoping to secretly — and safely — escape with her 11-year-old brother, whom she was raising. “I have been physical abused by the respondent before,” Jackson wrote in court papers, adding that she knew “what he is capable of doing.” On Aug. 2, 2017, a judge granted Jackson a year-long restraining order against Whittier; he was to have no contact with her and needed to stay at least 2,500 feet away at all times.
Eleven days later, Jackson was dead.
Authorities say Whittier shot Jackson four times through her apartment window, the restraining order lying atop a microwave just a few feet from her body. When investigators asked whether Jackson had trouble with anyone, her brother handed them the document. Jackson’s death came with clear warning signs, a killing that played out in slow motion as all of her efforts, and those of law enforcement and the courts, failed to stop what she saw as inevitable.
In the case of Ciera Jackson, there were eight possible witnesses outside her apartment building, but prosecutors got only one, her neighbor, to cooperate and testify at Whittier’s trial.
RIP My Angel-Suzanne Parsons
Suzanne Parsons, a Fort Worth real estate agent, long feared that her husband, John St. Angelo, would kill her. The couple married in their 40s but had known each other since childhood, and Parsons endured relentless violence during their three-year marriage. St. Angelo refused to let her leave the house, dragged her from the shower by the hair, assaulted her because her cellphone was locked and tried to strangle her while the couple was on vacation in Mexico, according to her son, Joel Bishop. When St. Angelo moved out in May 2013, Parsons served him with divorce papers, requested a temporary restraining order, bought a firearm and applied for a concealed handgun license, Bangs said.In December 2013, Parsons called the police to report that a prowler had set her swimming pool equipment on fire. Prosecutors said Parsons was confident that St. Angelo was the perpetrator, but police did not have enough evidence to charge him, Bangs said.
Days later, Fort Worth police found Parsons’s body slumped on her office floor at work. Her hands were covered in blood and defensive wounds. Half of a red-polished fingernail was ripped off and was lying on the carpet nearby, beside a blood-smeared necklace of interlocking hearts. Prosecutors said St. Angelo stabbed Parsons about two dozen times.
RIP My Angel-Desirae Parnell
In December 2016, Parnell contemplated filing a restraining order against Zachary Blake, the father of her two children, according to her mother, Carolyn Parnell. Desirae Parnell met Blake in 2007 and fell for him quickly. She gave birth to a son in 2009, and Blake wanted her to stop working, her mother said. “It was his way of controlling,” Carolyn Parnell said. “He took everything. Her self-esteem, everything, away from her.”
Parnell gave birth to a second son in 2011 and, against Blake’s wishes, got a job at an urgent-care clinic in Oklahoma City. Parnell thrived, eventually managing two clinics. But her relationship deteriorated, and emotional abuse began to escalate to physical attacks, her mother said. In 2016, Parnell found Blake using heroin in the couple’s bathroom and left him, her mother said. He sent threatening text messages that she reported to police, but her mother said the threats didn’t rise to the level of a crime.
Parnell started putting her life back together. She coached her sons’ baseball team. And she tried to keep Blake involved with the boys. One night, she asked Blake to take their sons to a wrestling event. He took them to a friend’s apartment instead, and Carolyn Parnell said her daughter realized she no longer trusted Blake and wanted to put legal distance between them, so she told him she wanted to file a restraining order, also known as a victim protective order, or VPO. “He told her, ‘If you get a VPO, I will kill you, and I will kill myself,’ ” Carolyn Parnell said. “We just thought he was blowing air, like he always did.”
Though she knew little about the process, Desirae Parnell decided that week to seek a protective order with the help of a friend who was a police officer, her mother said. They planned to do it shortly after Parnell took care of a few things at work. Carolyn Parnell said co-workers saw Desirae abruptly run out of the clinic. She got in her car, and Blake was hiding inside, Carolyn Parnell said. Parnell drove around the strip mall lot before getting out of the car. Blake remained inside, aimed a gun out the driver’s side window and shot her in the head, killing her instantly. He then killed himself, according to Oklahoma City police.
Desirae Parnell died Dec. 7, 2016. The public viewing was three days later, on what would have been her 31st birthday. Her parents decided to have a closed casket.
We can’t keep hiding the faces of abuse or the statistics will continue to rise. In a world so full of “Human Rights” you would think that VIOLENCE would be at the top of the protest list. Instead, we are worrying so much about “Being Yourself” “Gay Rights” “Abortion” etc…which are very important (don’t get me wrong) but WHEN are we going to stand up for our Human Rights and force more laws into place for victims of domestic abuse? When will the abusers be forced to take responsibility? When will victims have the freedom they deserve, free from abuse and free from judgement?