Empty Thoughts

I feel so broken. I don’t know which way to turn. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. I feel stuck. I feel defeated. I feel worthless. I feel angry. I feel emotional. I feel tired. I feel weak. I have no more fight left in me. I’ve tried so hard. I can’t win. Nothing is ever good enough. Deep down I know it never will be. There’s no future here so why do I stay? Why do I hold on? Why do I try harder? Why do I hope? Why do I wish? Why do I exist? Why don’t I just walk away and choose happiness? I haven’t been happy in so long, I forgot how it feels. I’m barely hanging on by a thread. Just surviving the best way I know how. Taking the punishment for every one who makes him angry. All I done was tell him I have a doctor’s appointment today and refused to have sex. I wonder if someone in the store made him mad this morning? I wonder if he just woke up angry? Or, does my doctor visit really make him this angry? I’ll never know. All I know is if I don’t escape soon, I’m going to lose it. It’s much like dying a slow horrible death.

Fallen Angel
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